Surfacing

"There's nothing like music to relieve the soul and uplift it."

~Micky Hart 

Sometimes, the only way up, is through.

In order for me to rise up...out of my own depths...I need to find a way to fire the light of inspiration in my soul.

Music...uplifting...powerful...envigorating music is one of the best ways for me to start changing my perception; to start seeing the light.



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After tha past day or two of struggling and flailing around, looking to my friends and mentors for advice, reassurance and tough love, I came here and listened to my own playlist. A playlist *I* created of songs that I love; songs that have meaning to me; songs that speak to my heart and soul.

I cannot just have it play. I must listen to the message of the music. What about these songs draws me to them? What about them inspires me?

I have to quiet my mind, concentrate on the message, and allow it to fill my soul.

I can literally feel the peace spreading throughout my body as I listen to and absorb the message and melody of the music. The music fills me up and pushes the darkness away. The music makes a path for my light to shine.

I am not done rising; I have a ways yet to go, but I am starting to surface. The bubbles are starting to tickle my nose as I rise up from the depths.

I will surface. I will burst through.



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In the depths

"Action is the antidote to despair."

~Joan Baez

Life is not all sunshine and flowers. Some days are hard. Some days the light from within is hiding behind all of the old darkness. Some days the flame of inpiration is flickering and fading.

I have been going through a time of waning enthusiasm; a time of a fading of my own light.



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There are a number of factors that have led my light to feel dim:

Tiredness.

Emotional baggage.

Too much sugar in my diet.

Hormonal imbalances.

A feeling of lack of progress; fighting the same battles again and again.

I am attempting to lead a life of inspiration. I am attempting to live the life I want to have right now.

This does not mean I will not have days or periods of time where I feel weak, sad, lonely or a failure.

I feel as though I want to crawl into a hole and cover up with a blanket and just wait it all out. But I know, I KNOW, if I do that, all my forward progress, momentum and current success will be lost.

My energy level is low. My light is dim.

But I must find it within me, somehow, some WAY, to continue.

I am filled with conflict. On one hand I want to recede within myself; ignore my friends and supporters; close the doors, turn out the lights and be alone. On the other hand I know that now, more than when I am on fire, I NEED the support, motivation, cheering and love of my friends and mentors.

I cannot go it alone at this point. Nor should I.

I need to be accountable. I need to open myself to the words of truth these friends and supporters offer. I need to fan my own flame and support my own future.

Why does the light flicker and fade? I do not know. Perhaps I have not yet learned enough. Perhaps the flickering and fading and re-brightening of the light teaches me something about myself each time. Perhaps I need to prove that I am stronger. Perhaps there are lessons still to learn.

One thing I know for certain: I can never give up. I can not live with self loathing. I can not survive a life filled with desolate feelings of despair.

I must find a way. I must find a path. I must find a way to brighten my flickering light. It is there, within me. I just need to turn up the dial.

I must find a way, for I can not go back the way I came. I can not fail. I can not succumb. I must press on. I must find success. I must find the inspiration.

"What is to give light must endure burning."

 ~Viktor Frankl





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Grab Life and Live It

“I don't wait for moods. You accomplish nothing if you do that.

Your mind must know it has got to get down to work.”

~ Pearl S Buck

When will the mood strike you to clean the toilet?

When will the mood strike you to give up your favorite food?

When will the mood strike you to start taking care of your health?

When will the mood strike you to be the person you know you can be?

When will the mood strike you to let your light shine?

If we wait for the mood to strike us, or worse, wait for the mood to inspire us, we will spend our lives waiting for a mood that will never show up.

Instead we must not wait for the mood to strike us.

We must find it within ourselves to be inspired to change our lives for the better. We must look at each day as the opportunity to fulfill our desires and not wait for a mood to persuade us that now is the time.

I am not in the mood every day to exercise, or make a grocery list, or prepare delicious food, but I am not allowing the mood to dictate my choices.

I am using my own inner light to inspire me to do the things I know I should do, regardless of my present fleeting mood, so that I can achieve the life I want.

Each day you have the choice to allow your mood to dictate your actions or to allow yourself to be inspired and take the daily actions necessary to achieve the life you want.

Don't wait for the mood to strike to grab life and live it.

Just grab life and LIVE it! Start today.