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Hello Friends!

After a very quiet six months here I have decided to combine the content found here on Inspire the Light with my "big" blog so it will be easier for me to manage. I will leave this site up but will be publishing any new content solely on the Blurb Column site.

Please come over to Blurb Column and be on the lookout for more inspirational content to appear there on a more consistent basis, in addition to the normal daily life content.

Remember, you can find me on Twitter @BlurbColumn, Goodreads at Corrie Beebe, Pinterest at Corrie Beebe and on Facebook under Blurb Column.

Thank you!
Corrie

Body Image

HAHA!

Did you read this article?

It is an article about Glamour Magazine featuring a scantily clad "plus size" model.

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This is 20 year old Lizzie Miller. Lizzie is a size 10-12 and was told, according to the article linked above, by modeling agencies that she was "too big" for "plus size" modeling.

Apparently, "plus size" models are size 8-10.

Huh.

Personally, I think Lizzie looks pretty damn good. She looks like she is tall and curvaceous, and yeah, she has a little belly, but nothing to be ashamed of.

She is a beautiful, normal, average, regular WOMAN shaped body.

I was thrilled to see that Glamour received over 700 emails in support of this image and using regular, average size people in their magazine.

I think, just maybe, the tide is starting to turn.

Women are sick and tired of trying to achieve the unachievable airbrushed and photo shopped "perfection" that we are shown in the media every day.

Show me a real woman, with a little curve, a little belly, a little hip and a little comfort in her own body! I will be much more likely to buy whatever you are selling me if I don't feel bad about myself while doing it!

I'm all for being healthy, fit and active, but I gotta tell ya...Lizzie here looks pretty damn fit and healthy to me!

What do you think?

I Don't Believe In Perfect

There are some words that I think should be removed from the language.

They do more harm than good.

They create unrealistic expectations and attitudes toward life.

"Perfect" is one of the words.

Perfect causes so much angst and anxiety!

Many people claim to be perfectionists.

What this often means in reality is that they so fear not doing something "perfectly", without error, or not living up to their own or others impossible standards, that they fail to even begin.

I know a woman who has difficulty committing to write because she wants it to be perfect.

I know a woman who has difficulty committing to eat well because she wants to eat perfectly.

I know a woman who has difficulty committing to doing various projects because she wants them to be perfect.

I am here to tell these women, and you, and me, that there is NO such thing as perfect.

Perfect doesn't exist.

Perfect is something that human beings created in our minds. Some IDEA of what something "should" (another word I don't like) be.

To look perfect we all "should" be 5'9" and weigh 125 lbs, have blonde hair, blue eyes, creamy white skin, big boobs, tiny waist, round hips and butt, long, shapely legs and attractive feet.

To smell perfect we "should" all shower with scented bath soaps and rub our bodies with scented lotions and spritz our bodies with scented fragrance.

To be the perfect mother we "should" do...good Lord...everything for our child and the school and other parents and our husband and our house and our car and the neighborhood and the community...and ... and...

I do not believe in Perfect.

I believe that perfect is nothing more than another way in which women demean and destroy themselves.

I believe that prefect is a way that women hold themselves back and create barriers in their lives.

I do not believe in perfect.

I believe in balance. Giving your best effort. I believe in loving yourself. I believe in creating harmony within all areas of your life. I believe in saying no to protect your self, soul and sanity.

Perfect has no place in my life.

I don't believe in perfect.

Lessons in Forgiveness, Part 2

"Never does the human soul appear so strong as when it forgoes revenge, and dares forgive an injury."

--E. H. Chapin

Once again synchronicity has occurred in life. When I notice synchronicity happening, I feel it is important to stop and listen to what the universe is trying to tell me.

A couple of weeks ago I had to write a paper for a class called a "Family of Origin" paper. I had to analyze my own family growing up, and how I experienced conflict within that dynamic. I then had to reflect upon how my experiences impacted me and influenced my conflict style as an adult.

In writing the paper I began to realize that even though I had to deal with some pretty horrific stuff as a child, in many ways what I was exposed to ended up being a benefit to me in my adult life. It showed me thing things I did NOT want in my own life. It showed me things I would NOT tolerate in my own life.

The next day I saw the quote I referenced in my last post, from Oprah Winfrey.

"True forgiveness is when you can say: thank you for that experience."

I came to some level of awareness that I was open to the idea of forgiveness.

You see, the first time I was told, several years ago, that I could forgive the person who trespassed against me, I was violently opposed to the idea. The very thought angered me.

Because.

Because this person will never apologize.

Or accept responsibility for their actions.

They will never acknowledge the hurt they caused.

So I wrote the paper. I came to some realizations about my past experiences. I was open to the idea. Then I went to class and we spent an entire class period talking about what forgiveness is.

The process of forgiving.

And more importantly:

What Forgiveness Is Not.

The process of forgiveness begins with being ready. A step I have achieved.

Then moving on to deciding to forgive.

Then forgiving.

And in some cases, mine included, the process of deciding and forgiving happens over and over. I decide to forgive and forgive and then I may be reminded of the transgression. I may feel anger, hurt and resentment all over again. In that moment I have to re-affirm my decision to forgive. And then practice that forgiveness. I do not believe that forgiveness is one, single linear act.

Here is what forgiveness is not:

Forgiveness is not condoning.

Forgiveness is not forgetting.

Forgiveness is not reconciliation.

Forgiveness is not excusing.

Forgiveness is a way to move YOURSELF beyond the pain and anger of the act.

Forgiveness is a way to expunge the hurt and poison from your own soul.

Forgiveness requires nothing of the trespasser. They do not need to apologize, explain, acknowledge or accept responsibility.

Because.

Because forgiving is not about them. Or what they did.

Forgiveness is about you.

Forgiveness is about repairing your own soul and heart.

Forgiveness is about letting go of something that is not about you and creating room for healing within you.

I do not believe that the trespasser has any part in the equation of forgiveness. They do not need to be informed of forgiveness. There does not need to be reconciliation.

Forgiveness is for you.

Synchonicity brought these successive ideas into my realm. And I listen. I process. And now I share this with you. I think the message is something the universe wants us all to hear.



Lessons in Forgiveness

"True forgiveness is when you can say: thank you for that experience."

~Oprah Winfrey



The above quote caught my attention this week.

There are areas of our lives, usually long ago in our pasts, but not always, that are wounds in our souls.

We experienced something at the hands of others that caused us hurt.

 That injured us, physically, mentally or emotionally.

And very often it is only with life experience, and the benefit of hindsight that we are able to look back on the hurt and find some measure of benefit.

My childhood had experiences of great harm.

It has taken me many years to work through the pain and emotional scars left behind.

Recently, though, I realized that the experience, horrible and painful at the time and for many years after, has given me some greater insight into certain areas of life.

I'm not saying I couldn't have gained that insight in a less painful or emotionally devastating way, but the experience itself provided me with a benefit that I can now see and verbalize.

I still have no wish to be in contact with the perpetrator of my experience, but I can look at the experience in a different light.

I can see with different eyes.

The forgiveness, the letting go of the anger and hate and resentment, is not for the perpetrator of these acts.

It is for ME.

It is to release the toxic energy from my soul that has lived there for far too long.

It is to brush away the dirt from my heart.

It is to push back the curtain that has been covering my inner light, darkened and obscured by old wounds and hurts.

Forgiveness is not for the other...it is for me, and you.

Do you have a hurt in your life, one that has festered and swelled, blocking out your light and spirit?

Are you able to look for the benefit of the experience?

Did it teach you something about yourself? Your resilience? Your strength? Your power?

Can you find some insight?

I encourage you, peel back the cover on that dark place in your heart, and see if you can look at the hurt with different eyes.

See if you can find a way to say "Thank you for that experience".

See if there is a way to say: that experience helped me to grow as a person.

See if there is room there to forgive.

Not for the other...but for yourself...so you can heal and move forward.

You deserve to forgive and heal and move forward.

You are valuable and worthwhile.

Clear the darkness from your soul.

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Never Give Up

"Between you and every goal that you wish to achieve, there is a series of obstacles, and the bigger the goal, the bigger the obstacles. Your decision to be, have and do something out of the ordinary entails facing difficulties and challenges that are out of the ordinary as well. Sometimes your greatest asset is simply your ability to stay with it longer than anyone else."

~Brian Tracy

There have been several reminders in my life lately to Never Give Up.

If you read here regularly, you know that one of my goals and aspirations is to weigh less and be more fit and healthy. You may also know that one of my frustrations with this aspiration is that the steps I need to take to achieve this goal are neverending.

I will never reach a point where I can say: DONE! Goal achieved.

Why?

Because health, body weight, fitness, those things are not achieved and then finished. It is not the same as having a goal to write a book, or to learn the tango. If you have a goal to write a book, once the book is written the goal is accomplished.

Being healthy, weighing less, those goals are more indefinite. Sure, I can lose 10 pounds and say I have achieved that goal, but I then have to maintain that goal. I cannot give up on that goal. I cannot then walk away.

Even now, weighing both less and more than I have in the past, I can say that I have achieved this goal in some ways, but I have not fulfilled it. It is an ongoing process. One that I must put attention toward fulfilling every day.

I can never give up on my goal of being healthy and fit. I must chose to stay focused, to take the actions and steps necessary to continue me on the path toward fulfilling the goal.

For if I ever were to give up, ALL of my efforts would be lost. ALL of my intentions would fall to the wayside. ALL of my learning would be forgotten.

I have worked much too hard to get here to let it all go. I do not like the path that I must go down if I ever were to give up. It is dark, cold and sad down that path. The light is missing. There is no energy. There is only sadness and guilt.

I do not want darkness, sadness, and guilt in my life. That is part of my journey, to alleviate darkness, sadness and guilt from my life, to inspire my own light to shine and light the path to my most lived life!

The stepping stones that light my path say to never give up!

Never give up. Never stop trying. Never stop working. Never quit. Failure only occurs at the point after which you quit. Everything before that point is progress and effort to achieve.

You can do it! Keep placing one foot in front of the other! Use your light to show you the way!



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Success

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SUCCESS!! I DID IT!

It took me a couple weeks (three, or four?) to get back into the groove and to achieve my goal.

My goal was to get back to regular exercise, which I had slacked off on in mid-August, and had fallen completely by the wayside as I got back to school the end of September. I needed an achievable, small goal to help me get started.

I decided on this:

20 minutes of exercise at least 5 days of the week.

Small time committment, but consistent. The first week I think I managed three days. The next week I did four. The next week I don't think I did any. But THIS week! This week I achieved my goal!

Sunday, Monday, Tuesday, Wednesday and Thursday I successfully completed at least 20 minutes of exercise (a mix of cardio/weights and  yoga)!

Now, I know that 20 minutes of exercise is good, but not great. I know that 20 minutes of exercise isn't going to help me achieve my other goals.

However.

THIS goal was about creating consistency. Showing myself that it can be done, even in the midst of my current time crunched schedule. This goal was about just doing it, for 20 minutes. This goal wasn't about the bigger goals, it was just about taking those small, baby steps to start me on the path to those bigger goals. To create some momentum and energy.

Not all goals need to be grandiose and magnificent!

Some goals are simply there to help you taste some of that success! To get a feel for what those bigger goals might feel like when you achieve THEM.

My goal for this next week is the same. 20 minutes of exercise at least 5 days of the week. I hope to get 30 or 40 minutes in there at least a couple times, but I want to commit to at least 20.

Thanksgiving week will be a challenge due to houseguests, but maybe I can get them to go for walks or something.

Do you have a small goal you can set to give yourself a taste of success? Maybe it is related to food. Maybe it is related to better sleep, or a different morning routine. Maybe it is flossing your teeth three times this week, or saying a gratitude at least 3 times this week. I don't know. It could be anything.

But find a goal for the week. Something small. Something achievable. Something that can give you an amazing feeling of success and power!!

Share your goal with me in the comments and I'll help encourage you to stick with it!!